No pair of pants is worth $54-million. (At least not yet anyway)
A judge rejected a lawsuit that sought that amount by taking a South Korean dry cleaner's promise of "Satisfaction Guaranteed" to its most legalistic extreme.
Roy L. Pearson became a worldwide symbol of legal abuse by seeking jackpot justice from a simple complaint - that a neighbourhood dry cleaners lost the pants from a suit and tried to give him a pair that were not his.
His claim, reduced from $67-million, was based on a strict interpretation of the city's consumer protection law - which imposes fines of $1,500 per violation - as well as damages for inconvenience, mental anguish and attorney's fees for representing himself.
A judge on Monday decided that Pearson was not entitled to a penny, and in fact owes the Chung family, owners of Custom Cleaners in northeast Washington, about $1 000 in clerical court costs.
The lawsuit filed by Pearson, an administrative law judge, has been mocked worldwide as a frivolous and outrageous legal action, and cost the Chungs two years of litigation, sleepless nights, financial and emotional stress. Pearson also claims he was doing it to futher the cause of American consumer justice and it was all for us.
I have to go take a nap now, maybe I'll dream about it.
Yea thats the ticket..... ZZZZZZZ
Faster than a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a locomotive.
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Look!.. up in the sky..
Its a bird, Its a plane
Its Super Laundry Judge!
Yes, its Super Laundry Judge, strange visitor from another planet who came to earth with strange powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Super Laundry Judge, who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend laws with his bare hands, and who, disquised as judge Roy L. Pearson Jr., mild mannered administrative judge for the District Of Columbia, Fights a never ending battle for TRUTH, JUSTICE, and the AMERICAN right to get your pants dry cleaned ontime.
But whats this?... In a cruel twist of fate, Super Laundry Judge A.K.A. Roy L. Pearson Who filed a $54 million lawsuit against a Korean dry cleaner for losing his pants, finds himself as the defendant in a case brought forward by his former girlfriend Honey Divine.
Ms. Divine has filed suit against the judge for allegedly failing to live up to his "lofty" guarranties of "manly performance"
Johnny Cockroach, ( Ms. Divines attorney) speaking on behalf of Ms. Divine, stated the judge kept yelling "Here comes the judge, Here comes the judge", But never did.
He also stated that certain "copulatory promises never materialized and this breech of "Oral contract" so to speak has left my client distraught" and further claims the judge never "rocked her world" as futher promised. He claims compensation is in order.
Ms. Divine is seeking $75 million in damages to offset the pain and suffering of the judges lacksidaisical effort during sex, and his subsequent lack of concern for "her needs" thereafter. additionally, Ms. divine claims the judge made reference to Ms. divines painful lack of knowledge of who her daddy is, yelling phrases like "Who's your daddy" " Who's your daddy"
**Footnote ( comments from readers ) ** Not!
"As an American and an unwavering fan of Super Laundry Judge, I'm glad that the court systems in America are finally spending time on such important issues such as this, and not wasting valuble time and taxpayer money on frivilous cases."
"I can't imagine what my country would be like if we weren't dealing with these absolutely essential cases. Frankly I'm shocked the Super Laundry Judge lost his case and has to return to playing the lottery like the rest of us mere mortals."
"How sad it is to see one of our forward thinking administrative leaders break down in tears as he was led out of the courtroom muttering about the trauma of losing his pants."
Wheres the Justice?...... Wheres the Justice!.... We want Justice!.....